Larry Chiang knows how to handle failure, hardship and disappointment almost better than the Indian orphans in Slumdog Millionaire. Before coming to SF, Larry had an unsuccessful stint in Hollywood. He’s been unsuccessful at athletics too, but one thing he is good at is confessing and granularly showing what works. If you liked “The Art of Being a Booth Babe” and “How to Work a Conference As a Hottie”, you’ll love this pre- post: “How to Get Yourself Into a Video Game”.
San Francisco CA — April 2nd —
By Larry Chiang
The end-all-be-all in athletics is to be in a video game.
Sports agents will tease their clients and dangle visions of getting featured in a video game. I took those musings and I did something about it. I set out as a goal to get into a video game.
With my experience as a loser in Hollywood (google USC, Larry Chiang) and my athletic experience (MSN, “high school hero, college zero”)
While I realize that this day is April Fools… I am first doing a proof. Proof that I really am in a video game called “Dead Rising” before showing exactly how I hacked in.
[Larry drags the wounded Carlito with a meathook into the slaughterhouse and after he hangs Carlito to the upper conveyer belt, Larry looks at Carlito as he is about to do something gruesome to Carlito. As he laughs, he noticed Frank who appeared at the scene]
Larry Chiang: Ah, a customer. Ah, hah, hah, hah, hah, hah, hah, hah…!
[as Larry continues to laugh]
Frank West: [pointing at Carlito who is hung to the upper conveyor belt] That guy, over there… I-I mean, uh… that meat… um…
Larry Chiang: Oh? This is good meat, eh? I just got it here. It fresh. Hah, hah, hah, hah…! You just wait right there, sir. In a moment, you can try the best ground meat you’ve ever tasted. Ah, hah, hah, hah, hah, hah…!
[Larry continues to laugh]
Frank West: Whoa… Ground? Wait a minute. Listen. I had something else in mind…
Larry Chiang: Zombies are no good! I can’t serve my customers spoiled meat like that. I… have a reputation to uphold!
[Larry continues laughing as the camera shows a tattoo of a kanji on the back of his neck]
Larry Chiang: Trust me. I’m a butcher! I’ve got the best meat in town!
[Larry continues to laugh as he turns on the conveyer belt that Carlito is hung up to]
Mental Ramblings talks in depth about how to beat me in vivid technicolor detail here. Believe me yet? My follow-up post will only happen if people comment on this below.
Larry’s wants to put McCormack’s book on the best seller list after a 20 year hiatus.
Recommended Readings DURING Web 2.0
This post was cranked out in about an hour so email me if you see a spelling or grammatical error(s)… larry@larrychiang com
Larry Chiang is the founder of Asse9 which became Duck9. Duck9 educates college students on how to establish and maintain a FICO score over 750. Asse9 is a secret society of people that thinks if you don’t own 100% of you, you’re a dumb slave.
He man-charmed his way into Congress to testify on credit and the World Bank on, well…, credit.
He is a frequent contributor to Business Week’s blog on “What They Don’t Teach You at Business School“. For fun, Larry blogs, attends tech conferences and hoops it up at Arrillaga Family Center. Text or call him during office hours 11:11am or 11:11pm PST +/-21 minutes at 650-283-8008.