Larry Chiang closes deals in rooms that he was not even invited into. He edits the Bloomberg BusinessWeek channel “What They Don’t Teach You at Business School”. After Chiang’s Harvard Law keynote, Harvard Business wrote: “What They Don’t Teach You at Stanford Business School“ (its the same title as his NY Times bestseller. If you read his scandalously awesome “What a Supermodel Can Teach a Stanford MBA” and “How to Get Man-Charm”, you will like his latest post:
 |
By Larry Chiang
> Tis the season to be attending “admit weekends”… it’s a time of celebration if you’re part of the newly indoctrinated biz school class of 2010. Fresh faces and glad hands are only part of the story… Here’s the ugly underbelly: 9 GSBers you don’t wanna meet…
>
> -1- Bank-a-palooza. Scoffs at the organic catered sandwiches google brought in for their fluff panel/quasi mixer. Misses deliveredRuths Chris, car service and a $60 manhattan burger. He’s working at 60% capacity and partying even lower. Yes bank-a-pa-snooza, Palo Alto bores
>
> -2- My MBA is my penis extension. There are two videos of a gang member in LA. One where he has a gun and one where he doesn’t. His physiology is day/night different because of the power the gun gives. Truest test: what happens to gang-banger when he can’t rely on the piece he’s packing?!
>
> -3- Undercover Hustler. Yeah, they go to class and does 12 projects on the side while working for his old company. Underneath his dress shirt and pants he’s wearing full work out garb for hisArrillaga Family Center 3pm workout.
>
> -4- Fresh in from Europe. Has goal during class discussion to enlighten ‘zee dumm aMERicunns’. They call it the “Old World” for a reason: less than 10% growth for over 10 years- true story.
>
> -5- The Married. My-MBA-is-a-vacation-from-my-family. Only sees wife 1.0 and 2.5 kids 2.2x/month. Scoffs at Sandals Vacation ads because zip code 94305 is all inclusive vacation too.
>
> -6- Eeek, I forgot about the token married couple. Married and doing GSB together. How romantic and easy to poke fun @. Major class eye rolls when she takes alpha role in overlapping discussion. Had in the pre-nup a 4, 14 year plans.
>
> -7- My MBA is My Lottery Ticket. Truly shined right from admit weekend. Sure, they were backdoored in, but they’re springboarding now. Maybe has a social cause but rooms glow and radiate with them in it. Darnit, I need a social cause too!
>
> -8- Brainiac Hottie. She’s stunning at year end black tie event and even mistaken as someone’s ‘plus one’. Hides it day-to-day cuz good looks = less credibility.
> EQ > IQ > 180.
> Single. Yes single. Why?! Smart hot women with a ’09 GSB make men turtle.
>
> -9- The Aberration. Wears cowboy garb even though he’s from Santa Clara. Actually plays a varsity sport called Football. Had two years of eligibility carry over from Michigan. Safety?, half back? or special teams back-up?… nope- starting lineman for Jim Harbaugh (both ways but doesn’t start on offense. The more you know the less you believe). Freak. New Goal; go work for him if your ego can take the beta/gamma fe/male status.
>
> ** Bonus #10 **
> Engineer Girl. Starts off year #1 slow –too much analysis. Take that game theory and apply it to something other than product management. Knows every woman CEO on a 1st name basis. Blossoms back end of 2nd year (after 3 year relationship took 10 months to shut down for good and 6 months to heal).
>
> ** Bonus #11 **
> Mr Dual Admit. Was admitted to HBS and even went to THEIR admit weekend. Has the “I-didn’t-know-myself-until-the-last-minute–cra-a zy” attitude. No, not crazy cliche. Your claim to fame will always be your dual admit. Instead, smarten up andDDSS by lying about ever having been accepted into Harvard
>
> ** Bonus #12 **
> Procrastinator Lucky Boy. So lucky that he’d applied third round and wound up with a defaulter’s scholarship too. Sooo back door approved that he’s VIP front door. (Very much like lottery ticket Lucy who is a combination of #8, #7 and #1)
>
> ** Contest for fame and fortune **
> Match each of the above with each of the below
>
>
> -A- is EIR @ Charles River Ventures
> -B- used to model in LA but still has her 617 cell
> -C- on paper = thumbs up. In person 
> -D- speaks better english than Berkeley boy but has been in country all of two months
> -E- will get a job for less money after business school
> -F- went for MRS degree but now can’t get l.a.i.d.
> -G- is jealous of Facebook profile of Founders Fund Sean Parker and his 12 undergrad affiliations
> -H- no profiling skills/common sense. Would only recognize an ex-con in jail garb orang
>
> ** extra Extra credit **
*** BONUS ***
a party invite for you:
http://economist.eventbrite.com/
What a Supermodel Can Teach a Harvard MBA
If you liked this…
Larry’s mentor Mark McCormack wrote this in 1983. His own book came out 09-09-09. It is called ‘What They Don’t Teach You At Stanford Business School‘
This post was drafted in an hour and needs your edits… email me if you see a spelling or grammatical error(s)… larry@larrychiang com
Larry Chiang started his first company UCMS in college. He mimicked his mentor, Mark McCormack, founder of IMG who wrote the book, “What They Don’t Teach You at Harvard Business School”. Chiang is a keynote speaker and bestselling author and spoke at Congress and World Bank.
Text or call him during office hours 11:11am or 11:11pm PST +/-11 minutes at 650-283-8008. Due to the volume of calls, he may place you on hold like a Scottsdale Arizona customer service rep. If you email him, be sure to include your cell number in the subject line. If you want him to email you his new articles…, ask him in an email
You can read more equally funny, but non-founder-focused-lessons on Larry’s Amazon blog .
Larry speaks on stuff they don't teach in B-school to help you get street smart in doing business. In college, he started a business that helps college students with their FICO score. He loves entrepreneurs, Ben and Jerry's ice cream and after parties. You can reach him at:
